Self-care is Critical (even when you are at the lowest of lows)
Angela Richburg
You’ve heard it, “You can’t take care of anyone else, if you don’t take care of yourself.” Yes, that is true. But in the briar bush of estrangement, I didn’t feel like I deserved to do anything nice for myself. I beat myself up relentlessly. Not exactly self-care. I did not want to take care of myself. Raise your hand, if you are with me.
Hello Identity Crisis
Angela Richburg
Who am I? Well, I was a mother, or I am a mother. I am still a mother. Mom is one part of me, but it isn’t the whole of me, any longer. Estrangement will hit all your triggers about identity, shaking you to your core.
Blended Family: Not the Fairy Tale You Expected?
Angela Richburg
Let me start with this fact: blended families are HARD. You likely left a marriage after many years of hard, lies, lonely, and/or abuse. You have healing to do, but you long for love, friendship, and safety. You are older and wiser (you would hope!), and you know what you want and do not want.
From Loneliness to Acceptance
Angela Richburg
I never saw estrangement coming. Does anyone? Then, I never thought it would last very long. I kept telling myself it would be short lived. Not knowing how long I must endure and unable to see the end is gut wrenching. In the waiting, I tortured myself in my mind with “what ifs” and “what coulds.” What could I have done differently? What If I said more, what if I said less? What if I said something differently, didn’t say something, or did say something? The self-flagellation continued to feeling defective, deserving, being a horrible parent, etc. Down the rabbit hole I went. To make matters worse, out of shame and embarrassment, I kept it to myself. I felt like I was the only person in world dealing with the pain of estrangement. The loneliness and heartache took me to a dark place of despair. 3 am is the magic hour, dark outside, dark in my heart and dark inside my head.